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About The Author
I am blogging because I want to be
heard. There is no better way than this to exhibit out my desire to
expose my inner self, mind you, inner thoughts not the body. Why are
you here then? Are you lost or are you curious just like everyone
else?
View My Blogger Profile
Previous Posting
Breaking Up - A Time To Move On
Eating in Beijing
Back to KL, Klang Valley night view
Toilet in Beijing
Writing from the Backpacker's Hostel
The Great Wall
Ming Tomb - DingLing, largest of the 13 Tombs
Shopping Trips
Temple of Heaven
The Forbidden City
Archives
01/01/2003 - 01/31/2003
02/01/2003 - 02/28/2003
03/01/2003 - 03/31/2003
04/01/2003 - 04/30/2003
06/01/2004 - 06/30/2004
07/01/2004 - 07/31/2004
08/01/2004 - 08/31/2004
09/01/2004 - 09/30/2004
10/01/2004 - 10/31/2004
11/01/2004 - 11/30/2004
12/01/2004 - 12/31/2004
01/01/2005 - 01/31/2005
02/01/2005 - 02/28/2005
03/01/2005 - 03/31/2005
04/01/2005 - 04/30/2005
05/01/2005 - 05/31/2005
06/01/2005 - 06/30/2005
07/01/2005 - 07/31/2005
08/01/2005 - 08/31/2005
09/01/2005 - 09/30/2005
- My Daily Feeds -
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Wednesday, September 13, 2005
Moving on to
Blogspot
There will
be no more post done at this site here. My posts will be continued at
http://danachow.blogspot.com
posted by Dana @ 9/13/2005
20:33:05 PM |
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Breaking Up - A Time To Move On
I have took a long time to ponder if I should
publish saucy details like this. But I guess I should let the world
know, even thought some might think that this is an embarrassment to
myself. I think nothing of embarrassment with this catastrophe that
landed on me tonight. In turn I have become stronger. With this
publication, it serve as a warning to others, and to myself, never to
repeat the same mistakes again.
For the girl in UK. Sorry
I've betrayed you. But at least now you can have him back in one.
=======================
Dear Emily,
How do I want
to tell you this? This man called Mark Sanjay Raj that had filled my
life with laughters and happiness all these while, finally decided to
fill the remaining time of my life with regrets and disappointments.
When he had a relationship with that previous Chinese girl in May, I
have forgave him for his sincere apologies. I can still remember how he
cried like a baby wanting me to forgive him. It breaks my heart to see
how much remorse he had that time.
But now, he breaks my
heart again. There was this girl that called me on last Saturday night.
I had a great evening that night, but was feeling sorry that I left him
out from the company dinner. In my mind, I was planning how to celebrate
his birthday the next day. I wish I never had receive that call, that
heart breaking call from her.
She told me a lot of things,
past that she had with him. She told me she loves him a lot, and that
hurts me the most. When I first met Mark in 2004, they were already a
couple that time. And he two timed us both for so long! My hand shakes
so much, even when I am writing this to you.
This girl, had
even once volunteering aborted a child for him. That was when they were
still in KL, she paid and went to the clinic in Pudu herself there. I
feel very sorry to hear that too when she cried on the phone. She
supported him the whole time when in UK, paying all the bills, rents
while he was bumming around without a proper job. Mark was never able to
get a proper job, because of his terrible attitude in work.
And then he gave the excuse that he need to be back in Malaysia, so he
can wait for his order to go to Iraq as a reserve US Army. She actually
gave him a 1000 pound in travelers cheques so that he can at least live
comfortably then. For now, I actually feel terrible knowing that he has
been using that money to pay for our dinner, lunch, movies, and even
outings that we did together.
He actually has even
overdrafts the debit card account they've shared to buy a few thousand
worth of electrical appliances when he first came back to KL. Here I was
thinking that he had welcome my staying with him by buying the house a
new stereo TV set, but in reality this was what it was all about!
There are many more lies that he has been spreading around on the
internet, to me, to his mother that loves him so much. He is living in
this big web of lies that eventually caught up with him. So now, he is
in desperation needing to create more new lies to get out from the
entanglement.
I have confronted him with all these details
tonight. I told him what I have know.
It is not a great
surprise to see how he react. Mark seemed so cooled and shrugs off
whatever wrong doings he has done. In fact, he feels very surprise how
our relationship can dragged so long after I was very upset with his
previous infidelity. :-( What else? He thinks that girl is just too
stupid to gave all herself to her. In his world, all these are merely a
game to himself. When things are getting bored, then it is time to get
over it and find another victim.
I can assure you that he is
contemplating to find his next victim when he moves to Australia next
year. Someone he can charmed, eventually living off her. Best would be a
white woman (his dream type).
But for now, I will do totally
nothing about what he did to me. Because eventually, his guilt will set
in and haunt him for the rest of his life. No matter how much he has
excel in his life, how many girls he managed to slept with, or places he
has been before; but when night sets in, this loneliness that he brought
himself to will always be his most fear.
I am not sad
anymore, in fact I feel very relieve to be out from this. It feels
terrifying to see the real beast Mark was tonight, how he acted like it
wasn't his fault when being confronted. On the other hand, it really
makes me feel so over him. So, please don't be worried for me. I am
actually starting to rethink about my planning to go to Melbourne to see
you again. Things is starting to look better now, finally.
Love
Dana
posted by Dana @ 9/13/2005
12:39:00 AM |
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Saturday, September 03, 2005
Eating in Beijing
It is a miracle that Mark survived the food in
China. It is even more surprising to learn he survive it without any
stomach problem at all! (That was until when he first came back to KL,
then diaorrhea non stop, how strange!!)
Without our daily
mamak fix, we begun our 9 days of beijing journey, surviving on whatever
that we feel edible.
First day, is of course attacking the
Wangfujing Food Street eating all the weird things there.
Most common one would be the Xinjiang BBQ Lamb (tongue very numb after
eating it). Other would then try some exquisite yet expensive stuff for
example:
Scorpions, sea horses, centipedes, worms... star
fish. (~25yuan to 50yuan per stick)
But as day goes by, Mark
and I start looking for other more common local food to fill our stomach
too.
Most of the days, we had dumplings. And dumplings can be
divided into dry one, soup wantan, fried gyoza style or shanghai steamed
style. It really didn't take me long to understand how to order them!
Other day, I will sneak out for breakfast, eating stuffs that Mark won't
eat. Had the Dandan Noodle (no good, very salty with very little meat
and vege). I also tried the LanZhou La Mian (Beef Pull Noodle), which
was excellent actually.
One other day, I tried a typical
beijing breakfast, that is You Tiao with Soya bean milk at this chain
restaurant call Yong He Ta Wang. I discover some people here actually
drink the soya milk salty, and eat the you tian at the same time. I find
the taste too weird, after all the milk itself is a bit burn.
On other hand, typical tourist in Beijing would be hault to Quan Ju De
for the famous pekingnese roast duck. After that, they would usually be
fed with Dong Lai Shun's Sliced Lamb steamboat. If you ask me, I think
both of them are more for the rourist and represent very little of the
local people food.
posted by Dana @ 9/03/2005
12:56:00 AM |
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Thursday, September 01, 2005
Back to KL, Klang Valley night view
We arrived quite late tonite. It was already near
11pm when we fly above the Klang Valley skyline. Have you ever see KL
from the plane on the cloudless sky before? It is actually rather breath
taking too, no bad compare to other skylines, be it New York or London.
I feel this place look so calm at this quiet night. There are very few
cars on the brightly lit highway. The tolls, look like a big stomach
readily swollowing all cars passing through. Hahaha...
The
KLCC always look so tall and strongly standing from a far, while KL
Tower never deserted the KLCC standing near her too.
There
are many dim housing areas from afar, and cars are burrowing through
them. I would guess it must be time for the people in the car to find a
home, and a bed to sleep on.
And I, whom glad to be home,
will find a my comfortable to sleep on too.
posted by Dana @ 9/01/2005
12:55:00 PM |
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Monday, August 29, 2005
Toilet in Beijing
I tell you, toilet in Beijing is just so so
disgusting. The look at it doesn't seemed dirty, but the smell I tell
you, you just can go bonkers getting the smell alone.
Even at
high class shopping mall, like the Oriental Mall, it is just as bad.
That floor in the toilet always seem so so dirty. No matter how many
time the worker mopped with her dirty dry mop, it will never clean it
all all.
I mean, the street of beijing is so clean, but the
toilet is just so difficult to keep clean which I am not sure why.
Apparently they have been doing large campaign to rates public toilets,
be it three stars or four stars. But they just can't maintain it too
long.
In the toilet at forbidden city, the people was told
that they cannot wash their hair, wash clothes, wash leg, etc. so I
guess you can see the reason why toilets in beijing never get too clean.
Another thing, is that we can't flush the toilet papers into the bowl.
Even though you have wiped your butt full of shit, you just got to throw
that disgusting piece of paper on the small little bin next to you. I
forgotten about that last night, so I caused one of the bowl blogged
till now. Oh well...
In my opinion, no matter how fast
Beijing might want to progress, they will have a long way to go when
comes to improving their toilets.
posted by Dana @ 8/29/2005
01:12:00 PM |
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Writing from the Backpacker's Hostel
Hie all,
been reading my post lately?
:-)
I am still here after being in beijing since wednesday
last week. All of my colleagues had gone home yesterday. Mark and I have
stayed back, until thursday. We checked into this nice little Backpacker
hostel call "The Red Lantern House" in Xin Jie Kou.
It is one
of those older brickhouse located in the old Hutong area. But very
nearby to the main road to grab a quick bite. There are Mc Donalds,
Dairy Queen, Yashinoya, and local stuffs like noodle and dumpling shop.
The courtyard of Red Lantern House
This place is
quite nice and homey. There's a man made Koi pond in the middle, and a
black color dog running around to be friend with us. The owners are very
friendly too.
Cute Michael (read again, I say Michael, not Mark, :P )
Mark's still fast asleep upstair at this hour, while I already fed
myself long before. Hehe...
We have been very tire from our
whole last week's travel, so we decided to take it easy in Beijing
itself. For me, all kind of sickness has been catching up. First had
sore throat last week, then a mild cold with coughing, after that was
the urinary tract infection. I just kept on needing to go to the toilet.
And you know how bad china's toilet can be. Hmmm... also, my knees still
hurting since thursday climbing the great wall.
Mark on the
other hand is having some stomach discomfort, probably due the oily food
he has been getting here. Food is quite a problem here, as it can get
very oily most of the time. So once in a while we both just got to pay a
visit to the McDonald's for a meal.
posted by Dana @ 8/29/2005
01:04:00 PM |
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The Great Wall
We went to the Badaling Great Wall today!!! And the
part of great wall that the guide chose is "Chu Yong Kuan". Heavily
renovated according to the Lonely Planet guide. If you ask me, I still
think this heavily renovated part of the great wall, to be quite
challenging. After all, all the steps are actually not evenly paved.
Despite of that, I managed to climbed to the level 4 in 1.30hr. Most of
the people that came with me, went all the way up to the highest peak,
at level 6.
The view here is just breath taking, can see more
of the great wall section on the opposite of the highway. The weather
was rather cloudy, and feel a litty mysterious when looking down. A top
of the world experience to me. Yeah!
Going up is hard, but
decending is not easy either. I just got to come down slowly so that I
won't tumble over. We stopped at level 3, 666m above sea level to get
our certificates. Damn, the girl that engraved our name wrote it so
badly.
Will post some pictures when I get back.
posted by Dana @ 8/29/2005
12:58:00 PM |
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Friday, August 26, 2005
Ming Tomb - DingLing, largest of the 13 Tombs
This place is very quite a far drive from the city
(about 1 hour). After getting down the bus, we walked up a small hill,
apparently is the upper portion of the tomb!
Going behind the
hill, we reached the entrance to the tomb. And there we walk down the
staircase of about 6 floors. It is quite cool inside there. Some might
find the coldness eerie. BOO!!
Though the government claimed
that everything in the tomb remained as it was first found, I find this
tomb to be very empty. Ceiling is high within, built with very smooth
wall. I would suspect that must be of very superior masonry skill.
I think I will go the the Ching Dynasty (in He Bei) tomb next time as I
heard it is very painstakingly built.
posted by Dana @ 8/26/2005
11:45:00 PM |
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Shopping Trips
What annoys me the most in all these group tours to
China are the shopping trips. And these shopping trips are divided into
factory shopping (so called factory) and general shopping at goods
distribution centers. The guide will also bring you to cultural centers,
which most of the times sell all the not so good quality arts and
crafts.
On the third day of the trip itself, we went to two
shoppings alone! It was only scheduled for one, but during lunch time,
they purposely chose this restaurant that was attached to the jade
factory.
But to my surprise, my colleagues actually do not
mind that, because at all these places, they actually bought quite a
bit. Especially at the silk blanket factory, they bought so much even
though I think the price was much higher.
All these shops the
guide brought us to, self proclaim that they are government runned. But
in my opinion, that will only mean that you have just got to pay more
for the genuine stuff. Sigh~ Mark and I most of the time would just hide
at one corner waiting for everyone else buying there. It is kinda like
wasted good times outside there.
posted by Dana @ 8/26/2005
11:30:00 AM |
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Thursday, August 25, 2005
Temple of Heaven
At the Echo Wall
We didn't really get to see a lot
of the temple, because it was under renovation. Therefore we were only
allowed to see it from outside. It will not be completed until June
2006. So we proceed to the echo wall temple and the open space prayer
ground. As usual, they all look very bad shape. Probably due to the
harsh weather in Beijing these few years.
It was a nice
little stroll through the surrounding garden here. Lots of elderly spend
their time socializing with each other. There were people practising
their chinese musical instruments in an orchestra style, there were
group singing opera openly. Walking ahead, there were people that
practice their chinese caligraphy too. They wrote a big chinese brush
dipped into the water, then onto the square pavements. Mostly practice
writings on some chinese verse (dui lian).
Others mostly play
chinese chess, with many people surrounding them. Some play the 9 dots
card (pai jiu), some play normal pocker cards.
Walking around here, it does gave me a feeling that Beijing people are
mostly happy and living comfortably these days, under the current
government care. In fact, we don't see much that sleep on the street
when dusk falls. Every here seemed to enjoys the warmth of the summer as
much as possible.
posted by Dana @ 8/25/2005
11:25:00 PM |
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
The Forbidden City
Once when I was at my younger age, I
felt at awked when I first see the picture of the forbidden city. I told
myself that, how nice it would be if I could go there one day.
And true enough, now I get my chance to finally set foot at this so
called Forbidden City. I was very thrilled to learn that I will go there
on this company trip.
My first impression of this old palace,
is that, it is not that magnificent after all. In fact, it is not as big
as what I thought initially. The throne where the emperor once sat, look
so dull and smaller than size. The palace ground, at most place, are
actually over grown with unkept grass. The beams, wooden window, all
look so bad shape.
There are actually very little thing that
resemble how it use to be once upon a time ago. The furnitures settings
were all taken off to somewhere, where you need to pay more for to look
at it. Most of the buildings are empty.
Here and there, we
get to see small scale of restoration on it, but this will be carried on
until 2008 for the Beijing Olympic. In fact, many of the old buildings
are being restored now. So don't be disappointed the next time you find
yourself travelling all the way there, only to find that the place you
want to visit is closed for restoration.
However, I still
manage to get a glimpse on how the royalties lived during the pass. This
place is mostly a serious administration fortress, there are very little
for fun here. Perhaps that is why they have few summer palace here and
there.
posted by Dana @ 8/24/2005
11:10:00 PM |
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Bad bad flight to Beijing
Man... so this is what you get if you are offered
an incentive trip from the company!
We actually pay extra for
this trip and then we were urshered into the plan at 12.30am the night
before, and guess what??? The flight is only 6 hours. Just iamgine how
groggy we all became when we first arrived at the international airport.
The weather is so so warm, it reminds me of KL. Even known when I am
typing this, I feel it was no different from typing at my house in SS2.
:-)
Yawn... we want to sleep... there's no breakfast for us
after that, since breakfast was provided on the plane! Lucky I flicked
the cold bun from the flight, and ate it when we were at the Forbidden
City.
posted by Dana @ 8/24/2005
10:59:00 PM |
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
What's the Sales Person's greatest fear
Well, for the one that just work from paycheck to
paycheck, loosing his job might be the greatest fear.
But for
those that hopes to have a gasp of the whole market, a tender opened up
without his knowledge is the biggest fear! And guess what, this is
happening to me today!!!! Argh...
got to run to IMR now to see
what's the specs like.
posted by Dana @ 8/18/2005
11:20:00 AM |
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
Haze!! When is it leaving us alone!!!
I can definately assure you that this smoky haze
blowing from the Sumatra is making almost everyone I know, sick! Even I
myself is down with this sensetive nose, which then leads to
uncontrollable nose leakage, whereby to the end is a full blown cold. My
mom in PJ now kept complaining that her throat is feeling so sore, and
even the house now is looking very smoky.
Me on the other
hand is rather lucky to escape to Ipoh here to work! Still, the scenery
is a bit blurr even though I can see the clouds and pale blue sky. At
least the air is not smelling with the burn smell here. I am relieve
that I I feel much better after being here for just one day.
Now, I am wondering if I should go back to KL tomorrow. My company is
having a nice company dinner treat at Sasaaki in Menara UOAII near KLCC,
but I am so fearful that my nose is going to be that bad again!!! Mark,
who's with me now thinks it is not a good idea to drive back as it is
quite difficult to see the road clearly, especially on the highway.
posted by Dana @ 8/11/2005
07:08:00 PM |
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Looking for T. Mohan
I once use to be very adventurous on the internet
(not that I am not anymore, just that I am so busy these days). Back
then in 1998, there are but a handful of Malaysians that go on the
internet, so I suppose it was much safer during those days as compare to
now. I especially enjoy finding new people to write emails to.
Yes, writing emails when ICQ has already long existed those times. I
don't know about you, but I believe that the process of waiting for the
email, the excitement of opening it, tastefully lingering on each words,
is really worthwhile for all the efford. To me, those instant messages
are bunch of distasteful communication tool.
But of course, I
would never ever reply on the old fashion snail mails, seeing how right
I proof myself that our POS Malaysia indeed do lost our mails from time
to time. Email is just fine.
Anyway, there was this guy named
T. Mohan. He used to write for the Malay Mail before moving to Cambodia
and start some publishing business there. At that time is the first time
when I met him through some matchmaking website. (Hey, what are you
thinking? :P).
Mohan was then on his late 30's if I am not
wrong. His strange background made me feel very curious about him, and
making me wanting to write to him more and more. On the other hand, I
guess like there must be tough so he would then write to me very often
about life there in Phnom Pehn very often. Sometimes he would write
about these two young girls of his with his ex-wife whom is a cambodian.
At times he would talk about his strange relationship with the Cambodian
politicians.
He talked very often about how close he was with
Hun Sen (the current President of Cambodia), he even showed me pictures
of him with the president depicting them having an important discussion.
In my impression, I felt that he must be some important person at Phnom
Penh. In a way, I feel like I have found someone very very famous to
talk to.
Minus the fact that he might have lied to me on
those stuffs mentioned above, I actually do feel that I have some
importance in his life at that time. When I was seeing someone not
suitable that period of time, he actually wrote many mails and called me
personally not to jump into the relationship hastily. Once, we also met
up in KL when he came back for a business trip.
I guess you
might want to know how he looks like? Well, he doesn't really look any
dashing, surplus his hairline was on the reclining side. But to me, his
look doesn't mean anything with the kind of friendship that he was
offering to me.
And so, we wrote to each other, twice a day
throughout the period of 2 years. It was an amazing 24 months of emails,
yet it seems that we never have the end of telling stories.
During our last few weeks, he told me that something is happening to
him, that he also needs to move his office elsewhere. He told me to be
patient during the period where there is no internet connection. Not
long after that, he just vanished from this cyber world. I really did
feel at great loss that time, for that I have known him a lot, but it
too feel as if he never came into my life! I tried finding ways to get
to him but at no avail.
After a year or so, I managed to find
news about him through the Phnom Penh Daily (now defunct) and Cambodia
Daily on the internet.
I was in great surprise to find that
Mohan had landed himself onto hotsoup. The newspaper said he was doing
this extortion to the owner of Naga Casino, threaten to blow the place
up. Beside that, he was found to always make up stories to be close to a
certain politicians in turn gaining trust from outside businessmen. When
he succeed convincing them, he would take advantage with this whole
situation.
I am shock to find about that, and I tried writing
to the Malaysia Embassy there but no one replied. I tried calling his
number, and one women speak khmer answered me. In the end I was pretty
much like at a cul-de-sec.
That was 3 years ago. I do hope I
can speak to him one more time, give him a good hug for all the trauma
he has been through, letting him know at least there are still someone
that cares. But for now, I guess all that I can do is to pray that god
has mercy on him and his two young daughters.
Good Luck
Mohan, and I shall think of you and our times writing to each other.
posted by Dana @ 7/12/2005
11:36:00 PM |
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Monday, July 11, 2005
Monash - Four Years After Graduation
Dear Emily,
I have gone back to our old
university after 4 years I graduate from there. It is strange that I
have never thought about going there although I pass by there from time
to time. I miss the great times we and the others had together during
our university days, but now those great times seemed so far from us.
Our labs at the lower ground still look the same, only grown to lack of
space and kinda filty. Mr. Nathan is still there working. He seemed
tired working there. It is not just him looking exhausted, Dr. Kan too
seemed very tiring. I guess the university has overworked them in one
way or another.
I was at the cafeteria looking at the current
students. Ah... university life are such ideal kind of life, free from
worries such as paying car installments, family problems, work stress. I
see these students, in a way looking different from us. Arming with the
newest handphone in hand, dress up with clothes I never dream a student
would wear it, they chit-chat like there was no tomorrow.
There are some changes around the campus too. All our lecturers no
longer sit at the 2nd floor. They were all moved to the buildings where
the old hostels are. I feel sorry for them in a way, as there were too
many stairs to climb, and the former apartment units look very worn. I
am guessing that Dr. Ton must be having a hard time to get to her room
that is at the 3rd floor, from the labs that are at the lower ground
floor!
What else what else. Guess what's new at the
cafeteria? There's a San Francisco cafe there!!! And there is also
Auntie Anne's pretzel stand there too. Other than that, me think our uni
is just getting filled with too many advertisments everywhere!!! For
example, there was this big Nokia advert at the entrance going into the
cafeteria. And then, there are advertisment to download ringtones
wallpaper behind the toilet doors!
If you ask my opinion, me
definately think that this place offer almost everything: great food,
cool environment, 1st class facilities. One thing for sure it is not
best at, is the education.
posted by Dana @ 7/11/2005
09:38:00 PM |
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